Hello kiddos,
As we gracefully glide into the final stretch of 2020, we are perhaps carrying with us a bundle of feelings. My parcel includes apathy, confusion, relief, hope, and loads of fatigue. There’s no need to reiterate any of the moments from this year, no need to add them up in an equation that will demonstrate just why a body might be tired. Maybe it’s time to honor the need for rest, and go extra easy on ourselves for the remainder of the year.
That’s my plan, anyway, as demonstrated by this unusually short Disco Diaries. I’ve been really burnt out the last several weeks, and my therapist suggested I take away everything that wasn’t essential to making a living and taking care of my basic needs. That means music projects, writing projects, certain work aspirations, home improvement tasks, and the like. She told me to wipe away all the “shoulds” at least for the rest of the year. Just to take a little break, wherever I can.
It was hard at first, because my self-worth has historically been tied to my productivity. Then, once I found how relieving it felt to have time with no agenda, it was easier. I noticed I did not cease to exist just because I wasn’t working on something, and that was good to know.
I even planned my first vacation from work since 2018, which starts next weekend. There will be no pause in the Disco Diaries, because I’m not that chill, but I’m finishing them early and queuing them for automatic publication. That means I have the last letter of 2020 and the first letter of 2021 all planned out already. Can’t wait to share them with you!
Lately, in conclusion
Viewing
The Great Christmas Baking Show, specifically the episode with the cast from Derry Girls, followed by a season one binge of Derry Girls.
Googling
“diy patchwork jeans,” “rebekah jones,” “sarah jessica parker young,” “creative rivalry,” “which western do they paint the town red,” “Opening up to inanimate objects”
Eating
Gingerbread cookies and an endless frozen supply of a coconut lentil stew from last month.
Drinking
Cheap, black coffee in my favorite mug from Viviana Matsuda, made with a lazy pour-over technique. Or, bourbon in various seasonal settings, such as cider or eggnog.
Reading
“Cat’s Eye” by Margaret Atwood and “Trick Mirror” by Jia Tolentino, but also this extremely amusing, satirical newsletter about an email inbox.
Planning
My next park skate session and all the projects I’ll feel fit to complete in January after two weeks off. (She’s an optimistic one!)
Writing
Postcards to both good friends and people I hardly know, and Holiday hellos to send off in the mail. One haiku a day, for another 20 days.
Burning
A cedar wood stick that I thought was palo santo, but it’s not and I’m ok with that.
A song for you
Fortune cookie
If you don’t like the flavors, buy an ice cream maker.
Thank you so much for opening your weekly hullo from yours truly.
Xo
Katya
I love this, and I love you. Made me cry.