Hiya, how’s it going? Thanks for opening another letter from me to you.
My jasmine plant has been drooping, and my cat Holden is on a pseudo eating strike in response to his recent oral surgery, but other than that things are going well in my small circle, and I hope for you too.
I spent the first part of this week house and pet sitting for a friend. She, like I, has seen “Jurassic Park” countless times. She’s a lover of all animals, so much that she and her husband recently rescued a nest of baby birds, to which I fed soggy cat food and wax worms every hour and a half while I was there. Conversations with her might lead me to Google something like “do snakes ever eat humans?” or “how many animals do you need for a zoo?”
It was a delight to care for their cozy space while they were away, and refreshing to take a break from my routine at home. I took the extra time and space to focus on making my self-discipline gentler, and my to-do lists more bite-size.
While I was there, I watched the Jeff Goldblum disco comedy film “Thank God It’s Friday” and saved some of my favorite fashion moments, like this one.
Diving head-first into Romantic Comedy Ocean
The coronavirus era has been prime time for television and movies. Lots of us are using streaming services as distractions and coping mechanisms. When quarantine began, Jake and I predictably watched Tiger King. Then my friend and I streamed Big Little Lies together using screen share, texting back and forth our reactions to each scene. When that was over, I turned to audiobooks by the same author.
My latest trend in light entertainment began after I was drawn in by a list of recommended movies on Hulu. “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.” “Down to You” starring Freddie Prince Jr. and Julia Stiles. “Along Came Polly” with Ben Stiller and Jennifer Aniston. I’m deep in this queue of late 1990s/early aughts romantic comedies.
These types of movies wrap things up neatly, in a cute little box with a cute little bow. They're a satisfying, finite experience that provides an escape from the much more complicated reality we occupy. Their simplicity is a haven, and their predictability is a comfort. They're consistently easy to watch because you know the plot will resolve any conflicts, and brush over hardships with an upbeat, happy ending. And if there’s an asshole character you know he’ll be humiliated somehow.
Unfortunately we don’t really get that type of gratifying conclusion in the real world, and many of the assholes are more likely to be elected into a position of power than they are to own up to their cruelness.
Romantic comedies are imperfect because of how perfect and clean they are. There’s not much that’s realistic about them, and none of the 1990s-2000s movies I've ben watching are anything near progressive.
Consider “He’s Just Not That Into You” (2009). With an all-star cast (Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Anniston, Scarlett Johansson, Ben Affleck, and Bradley Cooper), the type of enviable interior design often presented in romantic comedies, and a fun collection of interwoven plots, this movie is a good fix for the romcom craving. But as I watched, I noticed that silly gender binary stereotypes are the foundation of the entire plot. Ie: Women want to find love, commit, and settle down. Men are difficult, noncommittal, and often dishonest. It takes a special woman to break a man’s stubbornness.
The story feels based on a delusional, oblivious world I haven’t occupied since early high school. A much younger me could buy into that, and hope for a life where all my focus would be on cute hair, cute guys, gorgeous gowns, and affording a bohemian one-bedroom apartment in New York on my waitressing job.
Now it's the distance between my values and the movie’s that makes it an enjoyable watch. It’s so low risk to get invested in fictional drama for two hours, and so easy to zone out from what’s holding my attention. For better or for worse, sometimes the only way I can turn off my mind for a break is with a movie. It can be nice to linger temporarily in a world where nothing matters but love interests, martinis, and brunch, as long as I can trust myself to snap back to reality afterwards.
It also feels weird watching this very white, very straight story in the middle of Pride month, and while the country is lit up with powerful Black Lives Matter protests.
I’m definitely not an expert on romantic comedies or film in general, but it seems like the romcom genre is predominately white and cis-focused. I’ve decided that I like an occasional romcom — like, a lot — but I want to expose myself to more diverse casts and stories. “Crazy Rich Asians” was a good start for me, and this list from a couple years ago offers 10 romcoms that star people of color. I’ll be making my way down that, and if you have any recommendations to add I would love to hear them!
A stretch for you
In search of a little guidance to help me overcome particularly sore shoulders post-illness, I tried this short Yoga with Adriene video. This series of stretches targets the neck and shoulders, and feels really effective. I also love that you can do this sitting in a chair if you’re more comfortable that way!
Fortune cookie
Be like the cloud — graceful and on top of things.
Don’t forget to water your plants this weekend!
xo
Katya